Over the course of the past ten years or so, the cult favorite family film Hocus Pocus has become quintessential Halloween viewing. The magical combination of Disney magic and 90s nostalgia has propelled this little movie to new heights, inspiring TV marathons, Cosplays, and even their own line of Funko Pops.
But, though the film has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity, it is nowhere near perfect. As of now, the film suffers from a 33% approval rating from critics on Rotten Tomatoes. Though not the ultimate measure of worth, it should be noted that the film suffers from a good deal of issues. Here are 10 ways that Hocus Pocus has aged poorly.
That Hair Flip
Is it incredibly petty to fault an entire movie on one small dorky moment of poor editing? Of course, it is. Do we feel bad about it? Of course not. In the opening of the film, the human for of Thackery Binx is appalled to find his sister whisked away by the Sanderson Sisters.
In the spur of the moment, he tells his friend to go off to gather support from the village, and immediately turns back and gives the most dramatic hair flip ever captured of a puritan teenager. It’s a small moment, but it’s so bad. Who in the editing room thought it would be fine to keep this, instead of cutting the shot short a second?
Ice and Jay
These two doofuses are maybe the worst movie bullies of all time. This movie could be set in nearly any time frame, but thanks to these two bozos, it is rooted firmly in the 90s. They are beyond artificial and trigger the biggest eye rolls.
It is like they’re a strange amalgamation of wannabee hip hop personas combined with biker grunge? Also, nothing is worse than seeing ICE shaved into the back of Ernie’s head. It’s beyond cringe-worthy.
The CGI
This issue isn’t really the fault of the movie itself. It’s clear that the ambitions of the film were much larger than the budget given by Disney. But still, the CGI effects in the film are awful to look at, looking more like transition effects on Windows Vista Powerpoint.
The magic effects that come from Winnie are so dorky, and watching Thackery the cat talk or pounce looks like someone clicking a dragging him with a mouse. It is so corny and contrasts sharply with the more fun practical effects.
Yahbos
Do we really need to go into how embarrassing this throughline is? Everything about Max’s budding sexuality is so awkwardly placed. Whether it is Dani spying on him spooning his pillow, remarking on Allison’s “Yahbos”, or the constant obsession with his virginity, this movie has a fixation on the kid. Listen, it makes sense.
It’s something that an abundance of teenagers are thinking about. But in a Disney movie? Is that really necessary?
The Bus Driver
Speaking of inappropriate innuendos in Disney movies, this Bus Driver so be fired. The Sanderson Sisters board the bus when they return to the mortal world, searching for the three kids. They are greeted with a catcalling bus driver who throws all rules out the window.
He offers to give the Witches kids if that’s what they want, which is something we all hope our public transit employees should never offer us. Also, he lets Sarah ride on his lap and drive the bus, crushing Thackery in the process. Imagine what could have happened. This dude should be laid off ASAP.
The Tonal Troubles
Listen, most of these problems are not really an issue if you watch this film passively. Hocus Pocus is a perfect nostalgia trip. But, if you actually start applying film analysis and critique to it, the thing falls apart.
Tonally, though, the film is a disaster. It tries to be a horror movie, a family film, an adventure story, a musical, a heartwarming holiday movie, and a slapstick comedy. While bits and pieces of it work, this overabundance of tonal attempts leaves the film confused and crowded. You can’t try to be all these different genres at once.
The Period Accents And Mannerisms Are Constantly Dropped
This is just a basic pet peeve when it comes to performance, but it also is related directly to the tonal issue. A good chunk of the movie is made up of comedic period performances. The three witches, and Thackery all still speak like they are living in the 17th century. Except when they don’t.
The witches are especially guilty of this. They constantly break out of their period-accurate personas to make some sort of joke that fits within the 90s era, or even worse, they drop their accents. It wouldn’t be an issue if this was a full-blown fantasy comedy, but aspects of it try to ground it in some sort of reality.
All The Adults Are Idiots
Adults tend to be stupid in just about every children’s movie. But the adults of Hocus Pocus are especially dumb. Firstly, the parents at the Halloween party are so oblivious. Yeah, they might be under a spell, but they’re so susceptible to it.
The worst though is that old man dressed as the devil who just allows these three grown women into his home. Obviously he’s lonely if he’s going to just allow these strangers (who he thinks are trick or treating no less) into his private residence. His wife seems to be the only one who sees an issue with it.
Everything About Sarah
Oh, Sarah. To be fair, both her and Mary feel like forgotten acts when compared to Bette Midler’s Winnifred. But, Sarah is just a big awkward semi-problematic mess. We are all here for some sex positivity, but Sarah’s whole personality is just being horny. Like, the whole time.
Also, obviously some fans enjoy the creepiness of the Come Little Children song that she performs. But in all honesty, it is too weird, and another issue of the conflicting tones of this film.
The Production Value
For many fans who grew up with this movie, Hocus Pocus seemed to be a Disney Channel Original Movie. But no, it is a theatrically released motion picture. Looking at everything, but especially the production design, the whole film feels so amateurish.
The sets are obviously soundstages, the costumes look like they’re straight from Spirit Halloween, and the effects are mostly trash. It is charming in this way, but it really never should have earned a theatrical release.
